Letter to My Future Husband


Inspired by Dee Hsu’s song

Dear Husband:

Hi! My name is Tiff, you can call me whatever you want because I’ll like anything you name me. My parents split when I was really young so I’m always envious of a complete family. Our family is going to be awesome. We’ll laugh, cry, fight, make fun of each other but also protect each other like no other. I’m really dreamy and idealistic and weird so you better be able to deal with this shit otherwise why would I be with someone who can’t accept me for who I am? You better be loyal to me because I wouldn’t do anything to try to hurt you. I’ll make your favorite food and sing off key for you. You better make me laugh when I cry because I cry once a month due to menstruation. I’ll stick to you like glue when I’m with you so that you’d think I’m a leech.

You better not die before I do or else I’ll bring you back to life and kill you because I’ll be so sad that you’d leave me like that.

And as we grow old, you’ll look uglier than me but I won’t make fun of you too much. If life ever gets too shitty for us because of materialistic needs, societal pressure, etc, then I’m willing to abandon everything I have and move to a place where nobody knows us and grow vegetables and chicken and live a simple life. I hope you’re willing to do that for me too. Because money, fame, and power aren’t nearly as important or even close to being as important as being with someone you like, being healthy and growing old together. After all, can we really take money, fame and power with us when we die? And please protect me from all evil because I’m just a little kid! Thanks! Love you!

One comment on “Letter to My Future Husband

  1. -

    Not sure yet if you personally wrote everything in the other entries, but either way it’s been a wonderful, entertaining and informative read so far. This one, though, I had to comment on. Supposing you meant everything you wrote here, I think you have the right mindset and that’s awesome you think the way you do. The part about growing vegetables and chickens … Now that’s a winner.

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