I love alcohol. My goal one day, after I become wealthy, is to own a vineyard so I can then start making the world a better place, one wine bottle at a time. I’m a bit concerned that writing my experience with drinking alcohol will one day prick me, like when I decide to run for the President of the United States. I worry that people will criticize me similar to how they criticized George W. Bush for smoking marijuana.
O.k., enough already.
Question: Is it better to eat a lot of meat or eat a lot of carbohydrates before drinking alcohol so you avoid getting drunk too fast?
Answer: After years of experience and consultation with my drinking friends, we concluded that neither is better than the other. As long as you eat food that closes your stomach, you will get drunk slower.
Question: Is it bad to mix alcohol? For instance, drink wine, beer, dark liquor, light liquor on the same night?
Answer: Yes, it is. Try not to mix because you increase your chances of experiencing a bad hangover. If you must mix, do the following combinations:
- Go from light (colored) liquor to dark liquor. Do not go from dark liquor to light liquor. So, do not drink Jameson and end with Vodka.
- Try not to drink champagne then drink wine and vice versa.
Question: Can I build my tolerance?
Answer: No. How fast your body process alcohol depends on your gender, weight, and height. Normally, the body takes one hour to process one drink, equivalent to 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, 1.5 oz of hard liquor. Some people think that they’re able to increase their level of tolerance by practicing. I think they might be smoking something.
Question: What am I supposed to do if I can’t stop puking?
Answer: I don’t know.
Question: What helps with hangovers?
Answer: I’ve tried water, sports drinks that have a lot of vitamins, fresh fruit juice, and food. I’ve also been told to take a vitamin pill after you’re done drinking, before you go to sleep. I think all these work but sometimes your hangover is just too powerful.
So, allow me to introduce you to IV shots to your home. This was recommended by a couple of my friends. As of January 2021, the IV shots start at $409 (no joke) and minimum is two people. I have never tried this nor do I get paid for linking their website here.
Question: Should I operate an automobile after drinking?
Answer: Should you tell a woman she gained weight?