Monologue Jokes – Week of 12/16/12

Anne Hathaway was caught not wearing underwear while promoting ‘Les Miserables’ in Los Angeles. Apparently she thought she was still catwoman and brought her pus*y.

John Kerry is being considered for the position of Secretary of State. Apparently, they save that position for losers.

To address falling achievement among U.S. students, 15 states will increase class time in some schools. Students responded by promising to increase sick time.

To allow customers more convenience, Toys R Us and Macy’s both plan to stay open 24/7 in the days leading up to Christmas. They are also planning to stay open 24/7 after Christmas to expedite the process of gift returns.

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